Teachers to be rewarded for shitness


UNPROFESSIONAL teachers have welcomed proposals to allow pupils to help set teachers’ pay.

History teacher Tom Logan said: “The kids love me because most of my lessons resemble a less organised version of the London riots.

“I also frequently attempt to be ‘down with the kids’ by telling lame anecdotes about getting pissed at university. It never works and they still think I’m a prick, but they prefer it to the Corn Laws.

“Now it looks as though I’ll be getting a pay rise, and the kids won’t even have to learn anything. Everyone’s a winner.”

Roy Hobbs, president of the National Union of Crap Teachers, said: “It’s about time our members were properly rewarded for years of putting on a video while they go for a fag.”