Teenagers to be educated by historically accurate porn

30-10-13

ONLINE pornography must have detailed historical settings, according to new government guidelines.

It counts as revision

It counts as revision

Researchers believe historically-set ‘edu-porn’ could revolutionise GCSE revision.

A government spokesman said: “For many hopelessly porn-addicted students James Deen is a more recognisable figure than Aneurin Bevan.

“A classic ‘fake model scout’ porn scenario has no learning value, but edu-porn films like Magna Carta Gang Bang  and Industrial Revolution Ravers are at least 20% educational and come with a wipe-clean resources pack.”

15-year-old Stephen Malley watched the government-sponsored internet clip Domesday Book Gang Bang: “Basically these soldiers arrive at a hovel and explain that they’re doing a survey for the king. They want to know how many pigs she’s got.

“The lady of the hovel says her husband’s away toiling because he is a serf, explains what a serf is and then invites them in for some thin broth containing oats.

“After some chat about the realities of feudal life and the daily routines of the peasantry, they have a three-way.

“It really brought history to life. I learned that William I had a tattoo of a shark and that lesbianism was rife in the Middle Ages.

“Also I surprised myself by really enjoying an extended segment about crop rotation.”

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