That's a ridiculous amount of chips, says Britain

11-01-13

IN a move designed to cut food wastage, people who run chip shops will be taught the difference between ‘small’ and ‘shitloads of’.

That’s too many beige oblongs

As it emerged that around half our food is wasted, further research showed that this is 98% chips.

Chip shop customers ordering a small portion of chips are typically given so many that if they ate them all they would die in the night.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Somehow chip shops owners operate a weird inversion of normal business practice in which the vendor gives the customer more of something than they could possibly ever want.

“Even if you say categorically ‘that’s enough chips’, or ‘please don’t give me any more chips, I don’t have three stomach like a cow’ they will continue heaping chips into a plastic tray.

“It’s weird. I suppose they just really love chips.”

Professor Brubaker has been working with chip shop staff, trying to get them to differentiate between a moderate and gargantuan amount of chips.

He said: “So far, none of them gets it. They seem to have a kind of ‘chip blindness’.”

Chip shop owner Roy Hobbs said: “Chips are good, therefore more chips are better. Anyone tells you different, they’re an idiot.”

 

 

  • Share:

  • turkey_inside