What the hell is this ‘prom’ bullshit? asks everyone over 30

ANYONE aged 30 or over is having difficulty accepting that school leavers now get to go to a big prom, they have confirmed. 

With proms having become the norm for all 16 to 18-year-olds, older people have found themselves confused as to when this happened and whether they are glad or angry that they missed it.

Tom Booker, aged 43, said: “We didn’t have a prom. We had a school disco, and after I’d done the lambada with Kerry Pennington the geography teacher insisted on stepping in for the next dance, then he got off with her after.

“We were lucky to have that. At rural schools, after everyone had signed each other’s shirts, they just got shitfaced in a field.

“Now it’s all big dresses and limousines and losing your virginity with all the excessive ceremony of the Lord Mayor cutting a ribbon. Did I miss out, or was I lucky?”

18-year-old Nikki Hollis said: “It’s such a marvellous occasion, everybody dressed up together, a real rite of passage from childhood to becoming an adult.

“Then we make the least popular girl in the school prom queen and dump a bucket of pig’s blood on her head.”