Woman baffled by latest relationship with weirdo going tits-up

A WOMAN cannot understand why her relationships with socially dysfunctional men keep ending in disaster, she has revealed.

Administrator Donna Sheridan keeps putting her failed relationships down to bad luck rather than her inability to spot obvious warning signs of extreme weirdness.

Sheridan said: “I thought my last boyfriend Steve might be the one, so it was a real shock when he dumped me because I didn’t want his best mate ‘Chimper’ coming on holiday with us.

“We both liked Doctors and I was fine with him doing his hobbies, such as drinking a bottle of whisky in his spare room full of pictures of Barbara Windsor in army clothes.

“It reminded me of Anton, who would only eat raw cabbage and used to phone his ex five times a day. There’s no way I could have predicted that would cause tension.

“Then there was Rob. He said he was the Vatican’s top exorcist, but then I saw him working in Halfords.

“Dating’s such a lottery. Still, all you can do is take people at face value and not question things like why they breed alligators.”

Sheridan has now put her latest upset behind her and is going on a date with someone who is clearly a confused gay evangelical Christian.