You need to ask if we need a wee every 90 seconds, children confirm

CHILDREN have confirmed that if they are not asked if they need a wee-wee every minute-and-a-half, they will wet themselves. 

Parents attempting to negotiate the interval to a full two minutes have been firmly informed that 90 seconds is the bare minimum and really the frequency should be higher.

Four-year-old Tom Logan said: “Come on. You’re meant to love us.

“Asking if we need to wee while you’re in Waterstones, or queuing at the bank, or going at 70 down one of those new motorways without hard shoulders doesn’t seem so hard.

“And I don’t see what’s so embarrassing about holding me horizontally while I wee into the award-winning gardens of a stately home. You’ll look back and laugh.”

He added: “But not when we’re actually near a toilet. Be serious. You know us better than that.”