War

Trident ‘only effective against Labour party’

TRIDENT is useless apart from making the Labour party look like pacifist weirdoes, one of Britain’s top generals has warned.

Chilcot takes seven years to report the absolutely f**king obvious

SIR John Chilcot has confirmed everything that absolutely everybody already knew the entire time.

Blair secretly wants to be 'star' of war crimes trial

TONY Blair secretly wants to be tried for war crimes so everyone will look at him again.

Britain excited to finally find out if Iraq war was a bad idea

BRITAIN cannot wait to read the Chilcot Report to find out if the Iraq war was an abject disaster or totally brilliant.

Lego preparing for all-out war with Playmobil

LEGO characters are arming themselves in preparation for wiping all Playmobil figures from the face of the earth.

Sensible man reads Trump news then googles 'build a nuclear shelter'

A PERFECTLY rational man is planning to build a nuclear fallout shelter after reading about Donald Trump’s presidential nomination.

Cameron and Farage in ‘war of the ponces’

DAVID Cameron and Nigel Farage have gone into battle over who is the biggest ponce.

Badgers get testicle-biting training from honey badger

BADGERS faced with further culls have received combat training from a grizzled honey badger.