Job candidates to be told how many twats work at the company


BEFORE  they commit to a job prospective employees will be told how many twats work in the office.

Working with a twat can be costly, inefficient and emotionally distressing which is why companies are being asked to disclose their twat quotient.

Prospective employee Emma Bradford said: “I just applied for a job I really wanted but during the interview I got a sneaking suspicion the boss might be a total arse.

“He had a framed picture of a convertible Audi on his desk but worse he started assuming things about me like some sort of fucking Greek oracle in a Moss Bros suit.

“He asked me if I had children to which I replied, ‘one.’ He then told me I’d want another child soon and left it hanging in the air as if I was about to confess my life plans like a guilty secret.”

Bradford added: “I don’t know what’s more expensive to companies, maternity cover or middle-management cretins latched onto the corporate teet like massive piglets with company cars?

“I’ll assume it’s cretins.”

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