Brexit bill defeated by light breeze

THE government’s Brexit bill has suffered two shock defeats due to a mild breeze and a few spots of rain.

The crucial bill taking Britain out of the EU has proved vulnerable to problems such as weather and other minor environmental factors.

Conservative MP Mary Fisher said: “The EU bill returns to the Commons in June, but there’s a possibility it could be defeated as a result of it being too hot.

“Later in the year the bill is expected to suffer setbacks due to a small earth tremor centred on Market Drayton, and a tree falling in Congleton causing slight damage to a Vauxhall Astra.

“There’s also a very real possibility the entire bill will be scrapped completely in October if a colony of great crested newts is found on site just before a second reading.

“But Brexit is still going ahead exactly as planned. We have to keep saying that, even if it’s really humiliating.”