Miliband calls for ‘living wage’ nobody will earn

THE minimum wage may as well be raised to £7.20 while nobody has a job, according to Labour.

Ed Miliband said: “While we’re at it we can insist that everyone gets 28 weeks holiday a year and as many wank breaks as they like, for all the difference it will make.”

The two Miliband brothers fused into an eight foot Megaband to announce their irrelevant plan.

The Megaband is an unstable state for the brothers to be in and is only used by Labour when they have something very important to announce or need something getting from out of the loft.