Politics Headlines

Rees-Mogg to turn back into puppet if he tells one more lie

JACOB Rees-Mogg has been warned that if he tells another lie he will turn back into a little wooden puppet.

May gives speech about what she would do if she was prime minister

THERESA May will today give a keynote speech outlining what she would do about something if she was the prime minister of Britain.

Boris Johnson unveils sock puppet sidekick

BORIS Johnson will use his Brexit speech today to introduce Little Boris, a puppet on his right hand that foolishly supports Remain. 

Brexit only really happening to Brexit voters

A REGIONAL breakdown of Brexit’s impact has shown that Brexit only really happens to you if you voted for it. 

Rees-Mogg 'alarmed and aroused' by EU 'punishment'

JACOB Rees-Mogg has admitted to being alarmed and quite turned on by the thought of EU punishment.

Johnson, Gove and Rees-Mogg are our Brexit Dream Team too, says EU

THE EU has confirmed that it would be delighted to deal with the Brexit 'Dream Team' of Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and Jacob Rees-Mogg.

What’s a ‘customs union’? ask Brexit voters

BREXIT voters have asked what a 'customs union' is after discovering the term this morning.

‘Look at me! I’m picking a fight!’ says May

THE prime minister has demanded everyone in Britain look at her as she picks a fight with the EU that she will certainly lose.