Politics Headlines

Doomsayer ruining Brexit by thinking about it

A SELFISH bastard is putting Britain’s excellent Brexit plan at risk by thinking about the consequences.

Theresa May: ‘I have full support of Cabinet for some bizarre f**king reason’

THERESA May has confirmed the Cabinet agrees she is the best person to be prime minister and that everyone should let that sink in for a minute.  

What about no prime minister, suggests Britain

BRITAIN has given its backing to a radical new plan of replacing Theresa May with nobody at all and leaving the post permanently vacant.

May: I will never forgive you for feeling sorry for me

THERESA May has vowed to humiliate and destroy everyone who felt sympathy for her yesterday.

Okay, you win, you’re the worst prime minister, concedes Cameron

FORMER prime minister David Cameron has given in and conceded that his successor Theresa May is the worst prime minister of the 21st century.

Normal humans struggling to imagine event where highlight is a speech by Theresa May

NORMAL people are trying to comprehend a days-long event where the best bit is Theresa May saying things.

Grassroots Tories tell ministers to stop squabbling over Brexit and bring back hanging for shoplifters

GRASSROOTS Tories have told squabbling Cabinet ministers to focus on important issues like hanging and gayness.

Tories wearing Corbyn t-shirts around Manchester

CONSERVATIVES are wearing Corbyn-themed merchandise to disguise their identities on the streets of Manchester during the party conference.