Politics Headlines

May back from holiday with terrific idea

THE prime minister has returned from her walking holiday in the Alps with what she promises is an “absolute genius” idea.

Britain needs an anti-Brexit centrist party, says politician studiously ignoring the Lib Dems

UK voters desperately want a pro-European party with sensible centrist policies, according to a politician determined to ignore the existence of the Lib Dems.

I condemn both sides of the 10p Freddo debate, says Corbyn

JEREMY Corbyn has finally spoken out about the increasing price of Freddos, saying that both sides 'have a point'.

Smug right-wing git wondering what he did before the internet

A RETIRED man who spends several hours a day posting pompous right-wing comments on websites is wondering how he coped before the internet.

Dreary left-wing arse wondering what he did before the internet

A MAN who spends a huge amount of time posting hysterical left-wing comments on websites is genuinely wondering how he coped before the internet.

David Davis offers to crucify himself as Brexit payment

DAVID Davis has offered himself for crucifixion if Britain can leave the EU on favourable terms.

We thought Brexit was a type of wafer biscuit, admit pensioners

ELDERLY 'Leave' voters have admitted they thought Brexit was a chocolate-covered wafer biscuit.

Livingstone publishes list of all the people he should have killed when he was mayor

KEN Livingstone has claimed Britain would be a much better place if he had killed all the people on his hit list when he had the chance.