Blair Tells Gaddaffi: Salmond Is A Dick

TONY Blair and the Libyan dictator Colonel Gaddafi yesterday reached an historic agreement over the fact that Alex Salmond is a dick.

Gaddaffi may stand against John Swinney in Tayside North

In his farewell tour of Africa, Blair urged Gaddaffi to accept the UK government position that Salmond was a, "tosspot of the first order, who is not even worth the price of a phone call".

Blair will now travel to Sierra Leone and South Africa to reinforce the Government's message that Salmond is an arsehole.

In a speech at the presidential palace in Tripoli, Blair told Gaddaffi: "Admittedly you and I have had our problems in the past, what with you being an insane terrorist.

"Your agents may have wrought carnage and mayhem across Europe, but at least you never put up a candidate in Govan."

He added: "I know the Libyan people will agree with me when I say that Alex Salmond is a dick. He dresses like a supermarket manager and smells of onion bhajis."

Blair arrives in Sierra Leone today where he will dedicate the Allan Wilson Memorial Rangers Supporters Club in honour of the junior Labour minister who lost his seat to the SNP in Cunninghame North.

Next week the outgoing prime minister will attend the G8 Summit in Germany where he hopes to build support for his Alex Samond Is A Dick Foundation.