Blair to die for our sins

TONY Blair has opened his arms wide and announced his readiness to die for the sins of ignorant Brexit voters. 

The former prime minister tore open his shirt and exposed his naked chest to the media after admitting he was so opposed to Brexit he would happily lose his life for his beliefs.

He said: “Brexit is wrong and should be reversed. There. I said it. Kill me now.

“Speak not of my former arrogance which arguably caused an increase in Islamic terrorism and cemented distrust of all politicians, because it is not helpful right now.

“Instead let me suffer for your misguided vote. Let me say for you the forbidden things: Leave lied, immigration is healthy, this will cost more than you’re prepared to pay.

“Aah, heresy! Strike me down with your arrows, with your swords! But know I die for Remain, and in my martyrdom millions will unite behind my memory and our cause will triumph.”

Norman Steele of Gateshead said: “Blair dead or Brexit? Wow. He always did know how to make you face tough choices.”