Brown explains how to win friends and influence people

FORMER prime minister Gordon Brown has explained his personal formula for making people like you and winning elections.

In a keynote speech, Brown said the next Labour leader could learn from the interpersonal skills that had made him so popular during his time in office.

Brown said: “Adopt a gloomy, bad-tempered demeanour like some Dickens character called Mr McRatchett, the penny-pinching widower.

“Everyone respects honesty, so if a voter really annoys you by asking an awkward question call them a ‘bigot’, a ‘Nazi’ or a ‘rancid , git-faced weasel’.

“Above all, don’t forget to smile, even if it comes across as a false, sickly grin like a kidnap victim being forced to ‘act normal’ with a gun in their back.”

He added: “I’m not here to criticise individual candidates, but no one’s going to vote for a superannuated Citizen Smith on a crappy little bike.”