Dog eats Miliband's leadership skills


ED Miliband’s ability to be prime minster has been eaten by an alsatian.

We'll have to wait and see what comes out the other end'

As the Labour leader was caught at a football match after claiming he was too ill to attend an NHS conference, he also revealed that Izzard, the party’s pet dog had somehow got into his schoolbag.

He said: “I totally did a load of work on my leadership skills after Hollyoaks.

“When I’d finished I put them in my bag but when I went to get it this morning there was just this mess of ripped up slogans and dog bogies.

“I was really annoyed because I reckon I could have got a ‘C’ in Not Sounding Like the Co-Chair of Roehampton Students Against Pornography.”

He added: “I chased after the dog with a rolled up copy of the New Statesman, but my mum says he’s not right in the head and we’ll have to get these really expensive pills from the vet.

“But I don’t know when we’ll be able to afford them so it’ll probably keep happening.”



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