Dog eats Miliband's leadership skills

13-03-12

ED Miliband’s ability to be prime minster has been eaten by an alsatian.

We'll have to wait and see what comes out the other end'

As the Labour leader was caught at a football match after claiming he was too ill to attend an NHS conference, he also revealed that Izzard, the party’s pet dog had somehow got into his schoolbag.

He said: “I totally did a load of work on my leadership skills after Hollyoaks.

“When I’d finished I put them in my bag but when I went to get it this morning there was just this mess of ripped up slogans and dog bogies.

“I was really annoyed because I reckon I could have got a ‘C’ in Not Sounding Like the Co-Chair of Roehampton Students Against Pornography.”

He added: “I chased after the dog with a rolled up copy of the New Statesman, but my mum says he’s not right in the head and we’ll have to get these really expensive pills from the vet.

“But I don’t know when we’ll be able to afford them so it’ll probably keep happening.”

 

 

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