DUP deal to focus on Brexit, pensions and dinosaurs being a hoax

THE Democratic Unionist Party is ready to do a deal based on a ‘soft’ Brexit, a guarantee on state pensions and the total rejection of evolution.

As coalition talks with the Conservative Party began, DUP leader Arlene Foster stressed it was vital to focus on the key issue of why the Bible does not mention dinosaurs.

She said: “Yes Brexit, pensions, all that stuff, fine. But this dinosaur thing is absolutely central to everything.

“We know that dinosaurs are an evil hoax made up by homosexual atheists in the late 19th Century. But why do so many people still believe that these ‘gigantic lizards’ ever existed?

“According to our research the most passionate advocates for these so-called ’dinosaurs’ are gullible children, the gays and of course Roman Catholics, who will, frankly, believe in anything.

“We need to throw them all in prison.”

A Downing Street spokesman said: “We are very flexible on the existence of dinosaurs.”