I am The Crap Thatcher, confirms May

THERESA May has confirmed that she is just like Margaret Thatcher except not even any good at it. 

May admitted that her similarities to Thatcher, which include being a woman and being prime minister, do not extend to ruthlessness, principles, determination or basic competence.

She continued: “Thatcher defined herself by not U-turning. I spin like an owl’s head under even the slightest pressure, as this National Insurance thing has shown.

“Thatcher went to Europe and won Britain a rebate of £5 billion a year. I come here and make stern demands and they laugh and carry on talking in foreign.

“Thatcher could push through a radical agenda because she won overwhelming majorities in three general elections. I only even became leader because everyone else quit.

“I am a pale imitation of the Iron Lady, an authoritarian despot who isn’t even any good at it, which ironically means I’ll end up doing much more damage.”

May added: “Thankfully the opposition is led by the crap Michael Foot, so I’m fine.”