Jeremy Corbyn's cat to be deported for not learning English



JEREMY Corbyn’s cat is under threat of deportation for only answering to ‘El Gato’.

The black-and-white cat refuses to answer to anything but the Spanish term for ‘the cat’, despite having been resident in the UK for more than six years. 

Neighbour Eleanor Shaw said: “When it’s defecating in my garden it never responds to the plain and simple English phrase ‘fuck off’. I have to shout ‘vamos’.

“It’s made no effort to integrate with the other cats in the community, preferring to engage in territorial warfare so that it can build some sort of fundamentalist foreign cat terror state.

“Doesn’t turn his nose up at good old British Whiskas though. Oh no, he’ll have that for free.”

The prime minister said: “‘El Gato’, who sounds like a drug kingpin, has nothing but contempt for British culture.

“He will be deported within the next six months unless he learns enough English to work driving an Uber.”

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