Man somehow unaware Jacob Rees-Mogg is a massive bellend


A MAN somehow believes that arch-wanker Jacob Rees-Mogg is a brilliant individual who would make an excellent prime minister.

Badly paid office worker Tom Logan is strangely impressed by incredibly rich hedge fund founder Rees-Mogg, who for some reason pretends to be an eccentric 18th century landowner.

Logan said: “I love it when he does all that Latin stuff. I’ve no idea what it means or if he’s just making it up but he’s a character and that’s what counts.

“He’s a classic English gentleman like Sherlock Holmes or Bertie Wooster, which is exactly the sort of person we need to get us out of the massive con trick which is the EU.

“’The Moggster’ would baffle Barnier with one of his clever long words. Pissing people off in an amusing way is definitely one of the key skills a politician should have.”

Logan’s enthusiasm for Rees-Mogg is so great that he recently surprised friends by declaring he is against abortion and same-sex marriage too.

He added: “When you think about it abortion is pretty yucky and marriage should be traditional with a man and a woman in a pretty dress.”

Friend Nikki Hollis said: “Christ knows why an ordinary guy like Tom is so keen on a weird poseur like Rees-Mogg. Also I may have to kill him if he keeps referring to ‘the Moggster’.”

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