No, really, what's the plan, though? May asked

18-01-17

THERESA May has been told that yesterday’s speech was great fun but she now needs to announce the real Brexit plan.

Despite zingers in May’s speech about having no plan being a good thing and holding Europe to ransom by threatening to set fire to her own hair, economists believe Britain now needs a strategy that is not insane.

Backbencher Denys Finch Hatton said: “Brilliant, absolutely classic stuff, but seriously how are we going to unfuck this?

“I enjoy having a laugh about how we’re going to intimidate over half a billion people by selling some jam, but at some point I’ll have to tell my constituents what we’re actually doing.

“Because if I can’t, they’ll soon become somebody else’s constituents and I don’t find that funny in the least.”

Researchers have scanned any previous utterances by the prime minister for the faintest trace of humour without success, with one possible bon mot being revealed as a sneeze.

Labour hit back at yesterday’s speech by saying they would have told broadly the same 43-minute joke but their punchline would have mentioned worker’s rights.

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