Rennard scandal could hopefully destroy Lib Dems

THE scandal surrounding Lord Rennard could bring an end to the Lib Dems, it was hoped last night.

As Rennard and self-styled deputy prime minister Nick Clegg exchanged warnings, experts said it would be great if it resulted in disaster for the party because Lib Dems are dreadful.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “This scandal is very typically Lib Dem because it involves a lot of unbearable people.

“On the one hand Lord Rennard is exposing the weakness of Nick Clegg’s leadership while on the other hand they should all go away and never, ever come back.”

He added: “Some say ‘be careful what you wish for’, but that doesn’t apply in this case because it’s about the Lib Dems ceasing to exist.”

Consider subscribing - so we can write more funny content. .js-article{ display:none;}

Women ‘should be banned’

WOMEN are too much trouble and should be banned, UKIP leader Nigel Farage has claimed.

After commenting that women who had children were less valuable employees for City firms, Farage said he had now come to the conclusion that women are just a nuisance in general.

Farage said: Having children is incredibly stressful for employers and women should stop doing it, or not get a job in the first place and stay at home baking cakes and lactating.

However, women are a lot of hassle in many other ways. They clutter up the bathroom, weep all the time and want to talk about feelings instead of cricket.

And of course you waste an awful lot of time having sex with them or helping them reverse park, when you could be running a political party to stop Britain losing its sovereignty to unelected EU bureaucrats.

My feeling now is that we need a ban on women. Im not suggesting we put them in prison or anything like that, just special knitting camps.”

Teacher Tom Logan said: Im not bitter about my three failed marriages, however its obvious to me that women are highly desirable yet also evil. Basically they are succubi.

We could all do with a break from them. Then we could throw ourselves into untroubling male activities like fishing and visiting tool shops.”

Office manager Nikki Hollis said: Im a woman, and support banning women, but then I am mental. Vote UKIP!

Next story ›