Shadow minister for Self-Important Political Gestures resigns

THE shadow minister for Resigning To Make A Political Point has offered her resignation to Jeremy Corbyn. 

MP Helen Archer, who took the position in order to damage Jeremy Corbyn, has joined the junior minister for Storming Out Angrily and the minister for Self-Important Political Gestures in leaving the front bench. 

She said: “The sacking of shadow culture secretary Michael thingy has left me with no option but to tender my resignation. 

“The shadow cabinet, a group of people who pretend to have jobs they do not actually have, is now missing several key positions including under-minister for Pompously Walking Out On Principle. 

“Frankly they cannot function any longer and Jeremy Corbyn must quit immediately. 

“Either that or I’ll take my old job back. I don’t think they’ve noticed I’ve gone.”