Skeletor Joins Labour Leadership Race
CARTOON despot Skeletor has launched his bid for the Labour leadership.
Sitting astride Panthor, his evil feline companion, Skeletor said the party needed to embrace its socialist heritage if it is to consume the land of Eternia with an everlasting darkness.
The twisted half-brother of King Randor becomes the seventh candidate to join the race and the first whose head is basically just a skull.
Accompanied by his wife Evil-Lyn and children Kyle and Tamsin, Skeletor promised a clean contest with limited use of his demonic sorcery and telepathically controlled minions of doom.
But he rejected the offer of a televised debate and instead challenged Ed Balls, the Miliband brothers and Diane Abbot to a badly-animated battle in the Dimension of Despondos, chaired by Jeremy Vine riding Battlecat.
Paying tribute to Gordon Brown’s leadership, he said: “As a seven-foot pile of bright blue muscles and a fleshless face, I also know what it’s like to be regarded as a bit weird.
“But I do know that unlike Gordon I can connect with ordinary working class people, because – if you really think about it – they’re pure evil too.”
Henchman and campaign manager Trap-Jaw said: “Skeletor is a strong, decisive leader and unlike Balls and the Milibands he doesn’t look like a vaguely confused hotel concierge.”
Meanwhile the contest looks set to be crowded with declarations expected this week from Megatron, Grotbags and Shredder, the armour plated Samurai maniac from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.