Unite around my nutter’s version of Brexit, May tells Britain

THE prime minister has told the UK to come together and unite behind a vision of Brexit which only a minority of nutters want. 

Theresa May has told Britain that it must heal divisions, stop arguing, and back a Brexit plan supported by only the most rabid of her headbanger MPs.

She added: “I don’t think it’s a good idea. I supported Remain, remember?

“But in a rush of blood to the head last year I set out all these red lines and, ill-judged and impractical as they are, it’s time for Britain to agree with them completely.

“Sometimes you just have to put aside your doubts and allow the country to be run by a handful of bankbenchers and their media allies. That’s called being an adult.

“It’s your fault I’m in this position because you didn’t vote for me last year. The least you could do is give me your unequivocal backing on this insanity, to make up for it.”

So far the UK has failed to respond to May because it puts the TV on mute whenever she opens her mouth.