A PATRIOT outraged by the Team GB flag would still give it one if it gave him the eye, he had admitted.
Sun reader Wayne Hayes, aged 54, who thinks the pink and purple Team GB flag is an affront to our country’s proud history, would nevertheless go at it good and bloody hard should the opportunity arise.
He said: “It may not look as beautiful as it used to, but I’m not shallow. I’d just lie back and think of England while not looking directly at its physical embodiment. It’s the British way.
“The Union Jack should be red, white and blue, but I’m hardly a prime physical specimen myself. Racially I’m white, facially I’m red, mid-lovemaking I’ve been known to get purple. In that sense we’ve got a lot in common.
“It would be my best shot at banging Britannia herself, bar bumping into Penny Mordaunt down the British Protection, so it would be unpatriotic to say no. I’d hum the national anthem and that Jerusalem while I stripped seductively down.
“Then it’s on to missionary, reverse cowgirl, and even a spot of 69ing. I’d treat the Team GB flag to the works to show how much I love this sceptred isle. No bum stuff or choking though, I ain’t no pervert.”
Pub landlord and friend Norman Steele said: “Wayne’s a champion flag shagger. They should book him for the opening ceremony.”
