Sport Headlines

Massive piss up marred by horse racing

REVELLERS at the Cheltenham Festival have complained that horses are getting in the way of their drinking.

How to not be an arsehole if you're a famous footballer

ARE you a professional footballer who’d like to try not being a total arsehole for once? Simply follow the advice below.

Wiggins denies he took 'Mod drugs' 

SIR Bradley Wiggins has rejected claims he won the Tour de France on a handful of Purple Hearts and some Mandrax.

Skrnsson takes gold in Uphill Nordic Skjord

FINLAND'S Rinsu Skrnsson defended his Olympic title last night, taking gold in the 2x4000 Uphill Nordic Skjord.

Otherwise intelligent man believes he is good at betting on sport

A SEEMINGLY rational man has boasted about his talent for gambling on sporting events.

Golfer somehow not an arsehole

A MAN who plays golf regularly is strangely not an arsehole, it has been confirmed.

West Ham reluctantly unveil Moyes as manager

DAVID Moyes is probably going to have to be West Ham's new manager, the club has wearily announced.