Andy Carroll listed on Ebay
LIVERPOOL has placed former striker Andy Carroll on the auction site Ebay with a reserve price of 99p.
Manager Kenny Dalglish has listed Carroll under ‘Sporting Goods – Football – Other – Novelty Items’ and has asked the buyer to collect, given the freight charges in transporting such an unwieldy unit.
Overseas buyers were considered unlikely to be interested as Carroll has not had his injections.
Assistant manager Steve Clarke said: “Our seller rating has dipped quite a lot after a terrible review from Chelsea, but Torres was in perfect nick when he left here. Parcelforce are fucking shit.”
He added: “We’ve always tried to leave positive ratings when buying ourselves, although we have had to report Sunderland to Ebay for the Henderson because it’s nothing like the photos they posted of it passing the ball properly and scoring goals.”
Carroll has a ‘Buy It Now’ price of £25m but if no bids are received the club will either place an advert on Freecycle or just tie him to a lamppost with his feeding instructions taped to his forehead.
Dalglish had hoped the funds raised by auctioning Carroll would help with the major restoration work on Fabio Aurelio but club sources said taking away his credit card during the January sales had ‘helped things enormously’.
Clarke said: “If the lamppost doesn’t work we’ll probably just wait until it’s dark, find a building site and then heave him into a skip.”