Assange seeks asylum in Manchester United penalty box

17-09-12

WIKILEAKS founder Julian Assange has escaped the Ecuadorian Embassy, fleeing to the penalty box on the Old Trafford pitch.

Assange may apply for mascot status

Assange had the idea while watching Man Utd play Wigan at the weekend, during which he came to regard the United penalty area as a “punishment-free zone”, where he would be immune from any sort of disciplinary action.

It is not known whether Sir Alex Ferguson will permit Assange to stay in the box, but it is considered extremely unlikely that anyone else would be able to evict him.

Assange will be in good company in the penalty box, alongside such major players as the controversial Serbian Nemanja  Vidic, who many feel should have been tried and found guilty of gross crimes including a blatant handball against Arsenal in 2011.

Wikileaks supporter Nathan Muir said: “Julian is fully aware that when it comes to Old Trafford, the English powers that be have absolutely no authority whatsoever to intervene.

“There is a possibility that Julian will be forced to leave the box at the next ‘final whistle’. But ultimately, when that whistle is blown is for Sir Alex to decide.

“The real danger is that the box will start attracting too many other fugitives and become overcrowded. Apparently Lord Lucan is arriving on Thursday.”

 

 

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