Blackburn appoints Lambert out of spite

17-11-15

Blackburn Rovers' new manager Paul Lambert talks to the media during a press conference at Ewood Park, Blackburn. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Monday November 16, 2015. See PA story SOCCER Blackburn. Photo credit should read: Clint Hughes/PA Wire. EDITORIAL USE ONLY No use with unauthorised audio, video, data, fixture lists, club/league logos or "live" services. Online in-match use limited to 75 images, no video emulation. No use in betting, games or single club/league/player publications.

BLACKBURN Rovers has hired Paul Lambert as manager to teach ungrateful supporters a lesson.

Rovers fans have been vocal in their criticism of the club’s board, and managing director Derek Shaw admitted that the deliberate infliction of Lambert is all about revenge.

Shaw said: “I’ve had it up to here with those bastards and their pie-in-the-sky demands. If they want to boo, we’ll give them something to boo.

“Let’s see how they like it when they’ve watched their nineteenth consecutive nil-nil draw. They’ll be begging to have Steve Kean back.”

Lambert said: “The best attack is a good defence, and the best defence is also a good defence. We’ll be trying to lull other teams to sleep through a combination of our tactics and my soft but depressing voice.

“It’s vitally important the fans make no sudden cheering noises, but I don’t think that will be a problem when they see the signings I’ve got lined up.” 

Blackburn fan Joseph Turner said: “Watching a Lambert team is a real education, in the sense that you feel like you’re in a geography lesson that’s never going to end.”

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