Britain wants Jurgen Klopp to be its stepdad


Tottenham Hotspur v Liverpool - Premier League - White Hart Lane

BRITAIN’S football fans have admitted that having Jurgen Klopp as a stepdad would be great.

After the Liverpool manager made people actually care about a Burnley-Watford match last night, the consensus was that having him around when you went back home would be ace.

Arsenal fan Wayne Hayes said: “I’ve always thought Arsene Wenger would be a distant, patrician type who would constantly remind me what a disappointment I was to my mother but Jurgen would get me pissed on home brew in his shed.

“He’d pop 20 Regal into my top pocket, ruffle my hair and we’d go and watch Jaws together on his massive telly.”

Klopp stood in for Sky pundit Gary Neville and was immediately inundated with requests to permanently replace the former Valencia punchline.

Thousands called in to the show to ask the producers to pass on a photo of their mum with her phone number on the back and a comment on how good she looks for her age.

Hayes said: “Most people’s step-dads just make the bathroom a no-go area after Christmas dinner, like I reckon Sam Allardyce does.”




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