Cage Fighting Probably Gay, Say Doctors

05-09-07

NO holds barred cage fighting can lead to long term gayness and an obsession with thighs, the British Medical Association claimed last night.

Dennis and Joaquim married in Honolulu last April

The BMA is warning that men who are attracted to cage fighting are already gay or at least entertaining the possibility of a gay-based lifestyle.

According to a BMA study around 82% of men who took part in the vicious fights were gay before they started and another 12% became gay during their first fight.

The remaining 6% took part in cage fighting because they wanted to beat up gay men.

Cage fighting began in the United States in the 1980s as a way for off-duty policemen to act out their fantasies.

Fighters are only allowed into the cage if they are wearing tight-fitting underpants and are covered in olive oil. They are then allowed to grab any part of their opponent's body before throwing him to the floor, jumping on top of him and asking him out for a drink.

Roy Hobbs, a former Ultimate Fighting Champion, denied he was gay, insisting he preferred to socialise with men because they had bigger hands.

He added: "Like most men I enjoy a violent wrestling match followed by a shower, champagne cocktails, a club, some more violent wrestling and a continental breakfast on the veranda. Does that make me gay?"

A BMA spokesman said: "Gayness is a lovely thing, but we think there are better ways to discover your sexuality than stripping down to your undies, getting oiled up and pummeling another man's thighs. That said, we haven't actually worked out what it is yet."

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