Chris Froome abandons bike after realising they’re for kids

CHRIS Froome has completed a stage of the Tour de France on foot after suddenly realising that cycling is not what a grown man should be doing.

The 31-year-old leapt from his bike after seeing attractive girls watching the race, wondering if they were impressed that he was riding so fast, then abruptly understanding that his thinking was that of a 12-year-old.

He said: “I was cycling along as usual, musing on who my ultimate Robot Wars champion was and whether I’d be able to stay up late to play Mortal Kombat at the weekend, when I unexpectedly realised I’d been stuck in a developmental rut for the past 20 years.

“I dropped the bike, trying to give the impression I’d only been on it ironically as a joke anyway, and crossed the line sensibly and sedately like an adult would.

“I’ll still finish the race, but in a car while listening to Fleetwood Mac. If there’s a nice view in the mountain stages I might even stop for a coffee.”

Team Sky boss Dave Brailsford said: “It’s natural for cyclists to go through this. We’ll get him back once he hits 40 and realises that being an adult completely sucks.”