Dalglish spends £8m at vending machine

LIVERPOOL manager Kenny Dalglish has defended his decision to spend £8m on a bag of crisps and a can of Irn Bru.

Takes £10m notes

He fought off bids from rival managers who were willing to pay up to £1.30 for the snacks and sees the purchase as a sign of Liverpool’s renewed ambition.

He continued to stuff cheques into the coin slot of the vending machine until an engineer was called.

Dalglish said: “You’ve got to understand that there’s always a premium for home-grown soft drinks like Irn Bru as they instinctively understand the British way of having lunch. And it’s a full sugar can so it’s got bags of energy.

“Combined with the crisps – limited edition Marmite flavour so we really had to loosen the purse strings – it’s going to go brilliantly with this corned beef roll that I picked up for £20m.

“It’s Fray Bentos corned beef so I’m expecting a bit of that South American flair with my dinner today. It’s the kind of meal that tells the Chelseas and the Uniteds that we mean exceptionally expensive business.”

Assistant Steve Clarke has angrily asked why nobody was monitoring Dalglish while the former Chelsea man was away in Italy being shown around the remains of Aquilani.

Clarke said: “I thought we had learned from January when he was allowed out for an hour to see what was in the John Lewis sale and he came back with a sofa shaped like Andy Carroll that we’ve no room for?”