Football cameramen threaten 'sexy woman' strike

15-06-12

TECHNICAL staff covering Euro 2012 have asked for more pay to continue filming attractive female spectators.

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The specialist ‘girl finder’ cameramen responsible for picking out the young, pretty women in cropped replica tops from amongst the hordes of potbellied racists believe their skills should be rewarded with a 25% bonus.

Girl finder cameraman Roy Hobbs said: “I’ve been doing this job since the 80s, when you were lucky to find a single woman in the stadium that wasn’t built like James Corden and dishing out meat pies, so I’ve earned it.

“If our demands aren’t met, people at home hoping for a bit of cleavage will have to make do with Adrian Chiles’ shirt gaping open when he leans forward.”

NUTS, the National Union of Totty Spotters, which represents professions including ‘girl finder’ cameramen and dating website home page editors, believes that the skill of locating a single pair of jiggling breasts in a crowd of 10,000 stocky males is undervalued.

A spokesman said: “Our members train for years by covering the golf. Once they can track a white ball against a grey sky from half a mile away, they are ready for the challenge of finding a human-looking England supporter.”

The union are pressing for a sliding scale of bonus depending on the event and the nationality of participants involved, with a darts match in Essex earning the full tariff to a Brazilian beach volleyball match actually requiring wages to be deducted.

Hobbs said: “If we’ve had no agreement by 5pm today, coverage of the England match will still go ahead but expect to see many sudden close-ups of Wayne Rooney’s sweaty, balding pate that may make you retch into your Doritos.”

 

 

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