Commonwealth Games mascot is shit-faced octopus

HE encapsulates modern Glasgow and extends a warm Scottish welcome to the world: He’s Mungo the Shit-Faced Octopus.

Mungo the Shit-Faced Octopus

Organisers unveiled the £1.2 million mascot which will be the best thing about the Commonwealth Games.

A council spokesman said: “Ten years ago we might have gone for a little Scottie dog or maybe even a cheeky wee haggis.

“The fact that we’ve chosen a shit-faced octopus shows just how much Glasgow has embraced the 21st Century.”

Wayne Hayes, of design company Conceptionly, explained the thinking behind the new brand.

“He’s called Mungo, because Mungo is the name of our managing director.

“He’s blue because of Glasgow’s proud maritime tradition. He’s under water because for millions of years the Glasgow area was completely submerged.

“He has eight legs because he’s an octopus. And he’s shit-faced because he’s a Glaswegian octopus.”

Meanwhile, a volunteer in a Mungo costume will appear unannounced at Games venues where he will choose a random member of the public and then urinate on them.

The lucky victim will then be handed two free tickets to the judo.