Hamilton Wins World Car Pointing Championship
LEWIS Hamilton last night became the youngest ever winner of the World Car Pointing Championship.
In a climax, described by some as interesting, the McLaren car pointer crossed the chequered line in fifth place thereby finishing first and completing yet another day of abject humiliation for the world's foreigners.
Roy Hobbs, who gets paid to talk about car pointing, said: "Hamilton has been destined for this moment ever since he learned which button made it go and which button made it stop.
"All he had to do then was work out the best way to point it using the steering thingy."
Hobbs added: "But of course, the most important thing about car pointing is the car, and luckily the car he was pointing was faster than all the other cars being pointed this year.
"I suspect that Lewis Hamilton will now dominate this sport until they come up with a way of doing it all by remote control.
"And yes, it will be like a gigantic Scalextric but with lots of stunningly attractive, heavily-chested ladies in tight t-shirts draping themselves over bald, cigar-smoking fat guys."
Meanwhile a delighted Hamilton and his delighted advisers were last night formulating plans to pump £100 million a year into the Swiss economy.