Liverpool fan has only just realised it was 2-2

A LIVERPOOL fan who joined the Anfield ticket prices walkout has just realised that Sunderland scored twice in the last ten minutes.

Wayne Hayes had an enjoyable Saturday watching Liverpool apparently ease to three points and also got home in time to watch The Chase.

However, Liverpool’s defence showed their solidarity with the fans by also calling it a day at the 77th minute. Hayes started to feel something had gone awry when he reached work in Monday morning.

Hayes said: “I was messing around online and looked at the league table to see that Liverpool only had one more point that they did on Friday, but I thought maybe you only get one point for beating Sunderland these days.

“I guess there were some subtle hints, like Barry, the office Sunderland fan, looking less beaten-down than usual and the fact someone had stuck the match report on my monitor.

“At least I had a decent weekend, in fact pretty much anytime we go ahead I should get out of the stadium before we have a chance to throw it away.”

Consider subscribing - so we can write more funny content. .js-article{ display:none;}

Businesswoman’s credibility undermined by partially faded nightclub stamp

A WOMAN’S otherwise convincing presentation has been undermined by the fading nightclub entry stamp on the back of her hand.

27-year-old Emma Bradford delivered a strong pitch to the directors of an exclusive golf club, except that on her left hand there was a blurry but clearly visible picture of a cat’s face gurning as if it were on MDMA.

Bradford was given the stamp while entering local warehouse club Ravezone on Saturday night, and found it very difficult to remove.

She said: “I was pitching our PR company to a group of old posh men, showing them graphs about brand awareness when I realised I still had the stamp showing a cat off its tits.

“I tried to scrub it off yesterday but those things are a nightmare. I don’t see how it will come off without a skin graft.

“Anyway I suppose that’s that fucked.”

Next story ›