Mourinho begins work at small provincial estate agents

JOSE Mourinho has joined an estate agents in Doncaster, pledging to ‘dominate’ the South Yorkshire property market.

After being sacked by Chelsea for being too Chelsea even for Chelsea, he has already fuelled tensions with a rival agency across the road by claiming they only sell small houses.

Receptionist Wayne Hayes said: “We made a £500 commission on a one-bedroom flat last night and he did a knee slide across the front window, pumping his fists.

“When the regional manager called for a progress report, Mourinho banged on about how the sale was directly due to his genius, rather than Gary pretending there were other buyers interested.”

But with several clients already taking their business elsewhere, Mourinho has begun blaming everything from ‘the wrong kind of houses’, ‘Rightmove bias’ and ‘people living in yurts these days’.

Hayes added: “I genuinely think he may be too much of a bellend to be an estate agent.”