Six Nations to fill pubs with higher class of git


Rugby Union - Rugby World Cup 2015 - Pool A - Fiji v England - Twickenham Stadium

THE start of rugby’s Six Nations will see England’s pubs upgrade to a higher class of loud, annoying men.

In an extensive annual re-fit, the King George in Swindon has swapped Premier League banners with the flags of the home nations and barred all its regulars for the next month.

Landlord Stephen Malley said: “For the next few weeks we’re going to be attracting a much better class of boorish lout. Many of them will be called ‘Ollie’.

“The place will be awash with salmon-coloured trousers, desperately immature songs and posh young women who are every bit as annoying as their ghastly boyfriends.”

He added: “They’ll still get horribly pissed and vomit all over the toilet floor, but it’ll be a better educated vomit that’s programmed to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ even if it doesn’t really mean it.”

Rugby fan Martin Bishop said: “It’s so nice of the football fans to make way, but it will also give them an opportunity to improve themselves.”

  • Share: