ADOLF Hitler was one of them Germans, experts claimed last night.
With England set to face Germany in the next round of the shinball World Cup, historians revealed that the Germans were all mass murderers and if they win they will probably come over here and kill everyone.
Julian Cook, professor of 20th Century history at Reading University, said: “Let’s not forget that they tried to kill your gran. And they blew up the old Vera Lynn Cinema when it was full of babies.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same Germans that beat Ghana. They live for hundreds of years you know. In fact I’m amazed the Germans were even willing to be on the same pitch as Africans given that they’re all such horrible racists.
“And that Hitler was awful wasn’t he? Going around saying all those nasty things and killing everyone.
“But that’s Germans for you. And Austrians. And Spaniards. And Italians. And obviously the French. And let’s not forget gypsies, homosexuals and Jews.”
Martin Bishop, an Audi driver from York, added: “Hitler. Eichmann. Goebbels. All that lot. I can’t wait for Steven Gerrard to punch Hitler in the face.
“I was so worked up last night I almost took a sledgehammer to my A4 estate, but then I decided against it what with it being such outstanding value for money.”
Meanwhile England coach Fabio Capello was vindicated by his decision to switch tactics and focus on getting the players drunk and hoping that the ball would ricochet off Jermain Defoe’s shin at exactly the right angle.
He said: “I am delight. This is players I know from past days before now. I tell them relax, get happy in head, then you will play good shinball.
“And John Terry play very good, though I tell him he can try and stop goal with other parts of body. It shinball not headball.”
Capello said the team was now brimming with confidence, but England’s hopes of making the quarter finals would depend on James Milner managing to hit the ball at Defoe’s magic shin before some Nazi bastard snaps it like a twig.
