Sport

PEOPLE in Australia already know who won today’s semi-final match because they are nine hours ahead.

AS Brighton midfielder Moses Caicedo agrees a £115m deal with Chelsea, 1980s football fan Norman Steele explains the true value of this summer’s transfers.

WOMEN excited about today's match against Colombia have started singing a boisterous yet modest football chant, it has emerged.

WOMEN have added scoring penalties to the long, long list of things they are better at than men, it has emerged.

A WEEKLY game of five-a-side is always ruined by the one player who seems to know what he is doing.

A WOMAN regrets mentioning the Women's World Cup to her mum, who thinks the England players should be less competitive and "more feminine".

THE public perception of cricket as a dickhead sport for absolute twats was confirmed after the Ashes series was decided by f**king rain.

SUPPORTING the Lionesses, who play Haiti at 10.30am today, means you have a duty to be properly lagered up before the game. Here’s how to get through it.

THE Women’s World Cup that is set to bring women’s football a new wave of popularity is on at 8.30am on a Thursday, it has emerged.

FATHERS attending their children’s annual sports day were appalled that the purpose of the event appeared to be enjoyment rather than fierce competitiveness.