All cats are Thatcherites, confirm experts

08-05-17

EVERY cat is a right-wing Conservative, scientists have discovered.

Researcher Dr Emma Bradshaw said: “Cats believe in capitalism, low taxes and ‘traditional family values’.

“Also, they couldn’t give a shit about any other living creature unless it benefits them and they enjoy ripping smaller animals to shreds.”

Bradshaw added there are also parallels between the government’s Brexit negotiations and the way cats react to laser pointers.

Cat Tom Logan said: “I am in favour of privatising the NHS because I want most of you to die.”

Meanwhile, the study found dogs were more likely to vote Labour because they do not really understand anything and enjoy making a mess.

The animal most likely to vote Liberal Democrat is the sea monkey.

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