Horoscopes

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB) To mark Nigel Farage's candidacy in next year's election you're releasing a rap album called Fear Of A Black Thanet.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Disappointing news that inflation is up. Treating yourself to that Snickers bar will have to wait until the economy stabilises.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT) This is the week when every gamble will pay off. Actually, no, that was last week.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB) If you have one fault, it's that you're a perfectionite.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB) No word yet from the Secret Escapes website on how they can get your sister out of her seven-stretch in Holloway.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR) On an autumn night there's nothing nicer than curling up on the sofa with a good book. So why spoil things by trying to actually read it?

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL - 20 MAY) This Saturday you have a fight in the lift of The Shard. Things escalate quickly.

Your astrological week ahead with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Your application to the Elite Singles website is turned down when you try to pay the registration fee in Nectar points.