Horoscopes

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT) People say you're like Marmite – a lot of them want to stick a knife in you.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL - 20 MAY) For this year's 'talk like a pirate' day you threaten to shoot Tom Hanks.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Withdraw any money you have in a Scottish bank. They'll only spend it on vodka.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT) Your first day as a vicar on Monday will be a baptism of fire. As a result it will be your last day, too.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL - 20 MAY) No, you're not a humanitarian. You're a human IT Aryan.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Give a man a fish and it will totally confuse him. Especially if you're in a nightclub.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL - 20 MAY) Looks like summer is over. For you anyway, unless your appeal comes through.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) The longest journey starts with a single step. And the shortest one. All journeys, in fact. Not sure where I'm going with this.