Devil regrets making deal with Ed Sheeran

15-03-17

THE Devil has admitted he was wrong to allow Ed Sheeran to exchange his soul for fame.

The pact enabled the youngster to become a pop star and have sex with a series of beautiful women, despite looking like he would be more comfortable working in a Morrison’s bakery.

But now that Sheeran has used his powers to dominate popular culture across the globe, the Devil has been forced to apologise.

He said: “I’m so sorry, I really messed up there. Like every other creature in every realm, I’ve heard Shape of You every fucking day for what seems like millennia. It haunts my dreams.

“I’m no music aficionado – in the underworld it’s mainly the screams of the damned and a lot of Europop – but even I can tell that it’s hateful rubbish.”

The deal stipulates that the singer-songwriter will eventually be dragged to Hell, although the Devil confirmed he is looking for a loophole to avoid this.

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