Doing murders ‘the new rock ‘n’ roll’

Rolling Stone Boston bombing suspect cover, America - 17 Jul 2013

PEOPLE who do murders are this generation’s equivalent of rock stars, it has been claimed.

A spokesman for Rolling Stone magazine said: “As you can see from our Boston Bomber cover, murderers aren’t just weird old loners – some of them have great hair.

“When you look into Dzokhar Tsarnaev’s eyes, which are like two brown pools, you can tell he is thinking really deep thoughts about bombs.”

Media analyst Emma Bradford said: “The music magazine market has shrunk to just middle-aged men with bad posture, so tapping into the murderer demographic is a really smart move.

“Plus they’ll boost advertising revenue from knife, gun and ‘body-dissolving acid’ companies.”