Greedy Women To Sing Old Songs
THE Spice Girls are re-uniting to take their glittering “Avarice” show on tour citing a deep love of money as the driving force that brought them back together.
Posh, Sporty, Scary, Baby and Ginger said they all still had millions in the bank but would love to get their hands on more if people were daft enough to hand it over.
Sporty, also known as I’ll Never Work With That Cow Geri Spice after the band split in 1998, said the murderous hatred each felt for each other still remained.
However, she said the prospect of picking up millions for a week’s work meant it was worth touring “with those slappers” for a few days, as long as each had their own plane.
The girls promised the show would feature a number of spectacular innovations including a giant Hoover in the roof of each concert hall to suck even more money out of fans' pockets.
Sporty said she was planning to use the money from the tour to buy “a herd of tigers” and then have her entire body tattooed like a crossword puzzle.
Ginger is planning to purchase a new merkin for her ladygarden and a small African nation, with a sea view.
Scary said she wanted the cash to pay for a professional hit on Eddie Murphy, while Posh is still looking to buy some class.
Pete Piffle, skiffle critic with the Melody Maker, said: “It will be great to hear the girls sing again, assuming, of course, that they sang the first time.”