Pete Doherty too pretentious for the French


PETE Doherty is to be expelled from France for being excessively pretentious.

France’s Minister for Pretentiousness Jean-Claude Lambert said: “As a culture devoted to philosophy, absinthe and walking pet lobsters called Bertrand down the Champs-Elysees, we never imagined finding anyone too tediously self-regarding.

“But having seen Pete Doherty’s new film, we must admit that his glassy-eyed foppery is too much even for us – the French.

“We are returning him to the UK with the strong suggestion that you put him to work in a branch of Subway, or perhaps a pie factory.”