Street Fighter 'tainted' by Van Damme sex claims

16-08-12

JEAN-CLAUDE Van Damme’s claims of an affair with Kylie Minogue on the set of Street Fighter have sullied the classic film, according to fans.

Orson Welles couldn't act and punch simultaneously

Heartbroken cinema buffs said the alleged affair had ruined the film, which has long been regarded as one of the greatest mid-budget action movies based on a Nintendo video game.

Movie fan Tom Logan said: “The magic is gone. It’s like finding out Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford were doing watersports every day on the set of Star Wars.

“Last night I tried watching the scene where Colonel Guile and Cammy attack Bison’s secret fortress in an armoured speedboat to stop him building an army of mutant super soldiers, but it just wasn’t the same.

“All I could think of was Van Damme’s arse bobbing up and down with Kylie squeaking away like a horny little squirrel. It’s like Van Damme stuck his Belgian penis into my chest and removed a piece of my heart.

“At this point it’s too early to tell whether it’s similarly affected my feelings towards Timecop and Universal Soldier.”

On its release in 1994, Street Fighter was describe by The Washington Post as “martial arts action”. The film, which features the famous line ‘Who wants to go home, and who wants to go with me?’, currently has a rating of 13% on Rotten Tomatoes, just 87% less than Citizen Kane.

Film critic Leonard Maltin said: “The sexual spark between Van Damme and Minogue is unmistakeable.

“When Van Damme emerges from the wreckage of the cyborg laboratory after killing Bison with a roundhouse kick and Minogue realises he’s not dead, it’s like Burton and Taylor in Cleopatra all over again.”

A statement issued by Van Damme’s agent described the actor as ‘ashamed beyond words’.

 

 

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