The real battle is fighting off all the ladies, says top Call of Duty player

08-11-17

AN OBSESSIVE Call of Duty player claims the real war is fending off the women who want to snatch him from his gaming chair.

Following the launch of Call of Duty: World War 2, hardcore gamer Tom Booker said: “There’s something about a man who manages to get 25 kills without dying, thus triggering the V2 Rocket score streak that makes women go absolutely crazy with desire.

“I reside in a darkened room, the sounds of gunfire occasionally interrupted by the screams of ‘dammmmnnn there’s a nuke baby!’ To many women this equals enigma and only heightens their lust.

“I sacrificed many hours to get this pasty colour, greasy sheen and alluring oniony smell. But ladies you’ll just have to wait for it, after all, I’m at war.”

Booker added: “I’m kind of a George Clooney figure. I wouldn’t be surprised if I get asked to do an advert for coffee or bulk-buy crisps.”

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