Arts & Entertainment

SOME bands never recover from a member leaving, whether it’s due to musical talent or charisma. Here are some who should have begged departing members to stay.

A MAN decided to hurl himself into the blades of a combine harvester to avoid the agony of explaining what kind of music he enjoys.

SOME films are lucky enough to have a hot cast as well as a gripping plot line, but these ones don’t. Enjoy the eye-candy, because there’s nothing else of value here.

HE played them all the time, you preferred to avoid an argument, so you pretended Kasabian were good. You also have to live with these lies.

TIME travel, supervillains, evil ghosts - it’s impossible to make those things boring, surely? Unfortunately if you’ve seen any of these films you’ll realise it’s not.

GONE to see your favourite band and they’ve insisted on playing their shit new album in full? Here’s why you’d enjoy a tribute band more.

THE new series of The Crown will feature you, in your 1990s flat, crying at the death of someone you never even knew like a knobhead.

STRICTLY Come Dancing viewers are deserting the show in droves after not one couple has begun an illicit affair.

FRIENDS of Holly Willoughby have confirmed she has spent the four days since quitting This Morning releasing 14 years’ worth of expletives.

YOU can call your band anything. You can be poetic, controversial, deep, funny or ironic. Or you can just use the first stupid thing that pops into your head, like these.